another beautiful and inspiring sharing from my dear friend, Bob Perks:
(see his work at http://www.bobperks.com)
“Remember…You are loved!”
by Bob Perks
They would get together for coffee a few times a week.
Two old friends who lost contact with each other for
years until one day their paths crossed.
It was like attending a family reunion for the first time.
They had other things to do that day, but this moment was
much too important to pass up.
So, they sat for almost four hours over coffee and memories.
They continued meeting and reminiscing regularly.
“He’s like a brother from another mother,” they would say
in unison if asked about their friendship.
Times changed and they often spoke about “the way it used to be.”
You know, “The good old days.”
The good old days are different for each of us. What one
might remember fondly another wants to forget.
Remembering how things used to be changes through the years.
We develop “selective memory.”
A study back in 2011 stated “Selective memory really exists
and we can train our mind to forget moments completely.
The study found that repressing these memories for long enough
can lead to us erasing them completely.” (Lund University, Sweden)
I know this first hand, because my son remembers things differently
than I do. I am often stunned by the things he remembers and I
So it was for these two friends. There were issues between them
that just never were resolved. Often such things are referred to
as “The Elephant in the room.”
Elephant? What elephant? Pretend it’s not there.
The fact was that one ended up marrying the other’s girlfriend.
It was the reason for having not seen each other for decades.
These past years buried that fact six feet under as both of them
were now widowers. There was no need to talk about it.
That is until one day when they seemed to breach the subject just
“I want to talk to about something we haven’t talked about yet.”
“Can it wait until next time?”
“Sure. I’ll see you on Saturday.”
They always hugged goodbye. But today they did not.
Both went on about their day nervously thinking about what and
how they would talk about the obvious.
Early Saturday morning one friend noticed a text message on
It had been sent the night before.
It simply said, “Remember…You are Loved.”
He smiled and replied, “You are loved, too.”
He headed for his car and the local restaurant where they always
met. As he walked in, he noticed a younger woman sitting in their
regular booth. He approached the waitress and jokingly asked why
she let someone else sit there.
“He’s going to be upset,” he said.
“I think you better join her,” she said in a whisper.
Confused and concerned he walked up to the table and said hello.
“I’m Janet, my father told me you’d be here.”
He slowly sank into the chair as his eyes scanned what appeared
to be a very familiar face.
With a deep sigh he said, “You look just like your mother.”
And so the conversation began. They talked about the stuff of
life they set aside because friendship in old age was much
more important than lost love.
“He asked me to send the text to you just before he passed. It
was what he wanted to talk to you about today,” she said.
“He loved you. Guys don’t talk about stuff like that, but my
father loved you and regretted all the years wasted between two
He held the phone in his hand and showed her the message.
“I’m not too good with these things. Could you set his words
as a daily reminder for me? I don’t ever want to forget.”
And so, everyday for the rest of his life at 9:00 a.m. he
receives this message:
“Remember…You are loved.”
I have set my own phone to remind myself everyday. Some days
I desperately need to be reminded. Some days I need to remind
So, my friend…”Remember…You are Loved.”
“Ibelieve in YOU!”