Welcome to my new world!

With AOL Hometown being discontinued (sad day) I am forced to find a new “web home” and WordPress seems to offer the resources and flexibility that my fit my style and thus, here I am!  So, with intent to both Blog and host web pages here, we are off and running.

Jim & Pam, and life is very good!

Check out my background in the Pages to the right, beginning with ABOUT and continuing with a little background in the pages below that.

Also, check out the link to my free book, A Gift from the Heart, offered in memory of my heart donor, Roberto Cuebas, who back in October of 1994, lost his life in Brooklyn, NY, but in doing so, saved mine when his heart was donated and transplanted to replace my failing heart over in Philadelphia.  But wait, that’s what the book is all about, so go there to read the full story of the many years he and I have shared since that gift of life was donated.

- Jim Gleason
e-mail: GleasonJim@aol.com

 

Been There, Done That . . . a radio interview from years ago

Back in March 2001, I had the unique opportunity to share my heart transplant story on NPR (National Public Radio) for a show titled “Been There, Done That” that was focused on the topic “Starting Over” – somehow the host had gotten wind of my story.  So I found myself in the studios of WHYY in Philadelphia facing a huge microphone and his questions from across the table for the show that I share here with this link to that audio.

(Funny thing, recently I was looking for that show on-line and found the show had gone off the air.  Their archived shows were still listed on their web site, so I excitedly tried to link to that show to hear it again only to find it was no longer available.  Disappointed, I accepted the loss and moved on.  Now, just a week later I rediscovered by accident that I had that recording in my on-line book, A Gift From the Heart, and so am able to provide that listening experience here now…)

Click on title to download the MP3 audio file: Been There, Done That

 

 

Cellular Memory Post Heart Transplant

One of the most frequently asked questions I have gotten over these past almost 19 years with my heart transplant have to do with whether there have been any changes or memories that came about as a result of my receiving the heart from another.  My factual response is “No, that has not been my experience… BUT…” and then I share my very unscientific research over the years on this fascinating topic.  That conversation usually begins with the story of Claire Sylvia’s heart and lung transplant up in Boston in the late 80′s and her amazing experience learning about her donor and taking on some of his tastes and characteristics.  Paul Pearsall later used her story along with some 40+ others of heart recipients who had experiences along the lines of memories carried over from their donor’s life that cannot be yet explained by modern science.

I knew Claire and had several conversations with her over the years and believe her story.  Her book, A Change of Heart, was even made into a made for TV movie titled, Heart of a Stranger, so if you are interested in this topic I would suggest you start there.  For now, I just ran across yet another resource on this topic on YouTube in four segments, the first of which focuses on Claire’s story.

I decided to go back and add the links to those videos to what I thought was a chapter I had written on that subject, only to discover maybe I didn’t write it (at least not yet).  So to capture it for my own later use and to share it with you now, I’ll list those four YouTube videos here so you can get some background for forming your own answer to that question.

Enjoy and when (if ever) I get around to adding that chapter to my own book, I’ll post that here too, but given how very busy life is, don’t hold your breath waiting for that to happen.

And here’s another on-line article on the subject “Cellular Memory and Transplant Recipients” : http://www.aboutmeditation.com/cellular-memory-transplant/

and for more in-depth discussion, link to “Phenomenon of Memory Transplant” at:

http://www.grailworld.com/issues/20/phenomenon-memory-transplant

And if you have any related cellular memory post transplant experience you are willing to share, please feel free to post your own comment here.

And in closing, in answer to your anticipated question, no, I still haven’t had any cellular memory from my heart donor, but to your next question, yes, I do believe it is possible even if science can’t support or explain that yet.  I’ll keep reading and following this subject until they do, but in the meanwhile, it sure does make for fascinating conversation over (virgin) cocktails (smile).

“My mind (and heart) remain open to the possibilities . . .”

 

“Remember and Rejoice” 2013 – St. Patrick’s Cathedral, NYC

On Saturday, April 6th 2013, Pam and I traveled to New York City’s famous St. Patrick’s cathedral to speak at TRIO Manhattan’s 18th annual “Remember and Rejoice” donor recognition celebration.  Pam read “The Parable of The Good Samaritan” and later she and I gave a welcome greeting on behalf of TRIO’s national board and shared testimony of our heart transplant success and donor family life experiences.

While over the years we have shared with audiences from coast to coast (San Francisco CA to Orlando Fl to St. Louis MO), speaking to over 2,000 in this beautiful NYC landmark was a new adventure, never dreamed of before this invitation.  Pam was so calm and powerful in her reading, her words resounding loud and clear throughout the huge towering church.  To that overflowing (actually some had to be turned away due to lack of room, the five-year renovation program taking away some of the usual 2,200 seating area – see photo below of the audience and scaffolding . . .) gathering of donor families and recipients, I offered in opening:

“As president of Transplant Recipients International Organization, and on behalf of our national TRIO board, it is my honor to be here to offer our condolences on the loss of your loved one.  At the same time, I extend to you our sincere thanks for honoring their decision to be an organ donor, or if that decision was not known, for making that decision on their behalf in passing on the gift of life that makes this day possible.  We remember your loved one, each a hero in our lives, as we rejoice in this gift of life extended.  Please know that they are in our hearts and prayers not only today, but every day.”

Then the story of heart donation and transplant continued:

“I am with you today because of a family’s decision nineteen years ago here in New York, Brooklyn to be exact.  In October of 1994, Roberto Cuebas was celebrating his 38^th birthday and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Attacked on the street, beaten about the head with a baseball bat, after 8 days in a coma, his brain stopped.  In those days before state donor registries, his brother, Gilberto, lead their brothers and sisters in making the decision to donate Roberto’s gifts.  

“This was before the heart pumps available today.  On Thursday, October 18th. with literally days left from a heart damaged by an unknown virus, I went to sleep with my usual prayer, the Our Father, with my emphasis on the words of that prayer: ‘Thy will be done.’  

“The next morning, October 19th, I can still hear that 6am phone call from Heather, my transplant coordinator, when she said, ‘Mr. Gleason, I think we have a heart for you.’  I replied, ‘Thank you,’ looked up and prayed, ‘Thank you!’ then called my family to say ‘You had better get down here, something’s going to happen today.’  

“That gift of Roberto’s  heart saved this life of a young father of three in Philadelphia, Friday, October 19^th, 1994. 

“As one of very few who ever meet their donor family, at a national donor recognition ceremony in Florida I asked Gil why he had made that decision.  He replied simply, “My brother was a giving person and I worked in a hospital and saw the need.  What was I going to do, just bury his organs in the ground?”

“Instead of dying, in three months with a new heart I returned to work for another 12 years, retiring in 2005.”

Pam continued with the story of her son, Christopher’s accident and donation of both kidneys and his liver to save initially three lives, but in so doing, many others too.  (I don’t have Pam’s permission to insert her sharing here, so that part will be left to your imagination)   Just let me say, she “nailed it” in giving a very beautiful testimony, recognizing in a very emotional way a connection with every donor family in this huge audience.

My special thanks to Fran Dillon, TRIO Manhattan’s president, for allowing us this amazing opportunity.  The event was so well done in every way, and I don’t have words to describe it that would that would do it justice, so will just leave with the words I concluded with there, “From deep in my (our) heart(s), thank you!”

 

A “flash mob” event like no other!!!!

To advertise the upcoming return to the art museum (it had been out for 9 years getting restored) of  Rembrandt’s famous painting, “The Night Watch“,  promoters staged this large-scale flash mob event.

Just imagine your own reactions if you were in your local shopping mall and this unfolded all around you . . .

 

“Seventy?” – I still can’t believe it . . .

Today is my birthday.

The calendar says I’m 70 years alive on this earth ( I refuse to say “70 years OLD!”) but I am having  trouble for the first time in my life accepting that – well, I guess I have to accept it, but “believing it” – that’s a different story.  Seriously, leading up to this date, its been heavy on my mind and no birthday I can recall has ever been a concern or big deal before.  This is different, and it’s something about that milestone “70″ that is making it different.

Eighteen years ago the doctors told me “Mr. Gleason, your heart is failing and without a transplant you have less than two years to live.”  I didn’t feel scared or excited about that, after all at that point I had lived a very successful and fulfilled life and long ago accepted that once born we are going to die “someday” and while I didn’t want to rush it just then (Sept 1994), it wasn’t as scary as you might expect that to be.  A heart transplant was an option, even if, as the social worker explained, “Mr. Gleason, this isn’t a black and white decision – we don’t know that your quality of life will be after a heart transplant.”  Well as those of you who know me, this “cookie monster” always sees things as being positive, so it was a quick and easy decision for me to say yes, I choose to live.

Arriving home Oct ’94 post heart transplant

Long story short, now almost 19 years later, that ‘quality of life’ has turned out to be very positive, with a busy and very fulfilled life finishing up a corporate career for the next dozen or so years, opting to retire in 2005 with plenty of life left to live and as so many young retirees often report, working harder in retirement with a freedom of choice to work without pay in causes I am very passionate about, giving it “all my heart” for many years now, never looking back.  Recently in sharing positive a transplant life can be presenting to a group of cardiac nurses, the head of that heart program asked “So Mr. Gleason, looking back on your heart experience these past almost two decades, what would you like to see different?”  After careful reflection I responded, “Absolutely nothing!”  I have no regrets and live each day to its fullest, each accepted as a gift of life for that day with a prayer of thanks for living God’s plan in love and service that day.

Years later, choosing to relax by the river

Maybe it’s all those Facebook “Happy Birthday, Jim!” postings that have been popping up all day – thanks, everyone, for those greetings!  There have been literally hundreds, from close friends and some from long ago friends, not to mention some from those I have no clue who they are despite the subject line of “a friend of ‘known friend’s name’ wishes you a happ….” – very nice of everyone to share in my celebration of those 70 years, with a wish of “…and many more!” that serve as another reminder of this milestone day.  I love what our church leader said when my birthday was added to the list of celebrations for our Sunday service and she responded, “Yesterday’s seventy is today’s fifty!”  That’s what I feel and often have talked about that difference between our “chronological age” (that 70) vs. the more important “age we feel” and 50 doesn’t sound so bad right now.  Oh yes, those 70 year old knees do complain, but I’m still resisting any knee replacement just yet, taking an aspirin and vitamin supplement that claims to help the missing cartilage instead.

Yes, after a wonderful surprise birthday party with family and close friends followed by a busy day in church activities, I (we) opted for a 2-hour “recovery nap” this afternoon.  My younger sister responded to my attributing that to being a benefit of being 70 by saying she and her husband took afternoon naps even on their newlywed days (but I’m guessing that was from being tired for other reasons – smile – but loved the thought).

Too often we don’t get to see those beautiful people and memories because they are held until the person’s funeral, something we have often complained about saying, “Too bad the person didn’t hear all this testimony while they were still alive!”  Well I was blessed to hear all that at the birthday party, from family and even friends who have shared lives together.  How wonderful to hear Ray, my best friend for over sixty years now give testimony to that rare friendship with stories and memories of those many years together.  Then Karen, a much newer friend shared how we met (with God’s working) and reciting my book’s chapter explaining my famous Cookie Monster concept (<– click here to download a PDF document and read that).  Karen is the epitome of that CM personality and has been another of those many life’s delightful blessings with she and Ken matching up in an amazing way with Pam and I to become another of those rare “couple friendships” just as Ray and Joyce have been from our childhood days.  The party was truly another of those “once in a lifetime events” that Pam pulled off with much effort and love, reaching out to so many of our beautiful family and friends.  ”Thank you all for responding to her invitation to make it so very great!“

Jim & Ray, friends for 60+ years with many more to come . . .

And that is something to celebrate now, not at one’s funeral, and we did!  And I thank God for each and every one of those beautiful people.

70 years young between loving family and friends at birthday party

So, yes, I’m seventy and living on tomorrow at 70+ one more day, a gift to be lived with gusto and appreciation, because today there are many people who will not see tomorrow, people who will not be there to hear those wonderful words of praise and thanks for what they gave in living their own lives of too few years.  We have today.  We are not promised a tomorrow.  So my sage advice from this new vantage point of being seventy is to take the gift of the present and make the best of it, living today as if it may be your last, and some day it will be exactly that.  I pray that you too will be able to say at that moment, I have lived a life of no regrets, nothing I would go back and change, having loved and accepted each of life’s challenges with the best I could offer.

I have, I did and I will continue until that final day comes, at which point I look forward with curiosity to seeing what that the promised afterlife is all about.  I’ve been led to believe it’s pretty awesome, so hope to see YOU there someday not too soon (smile)!

And a special thank you for all who posted on that Facebook with hundreds of greetings, pictures and love . . . you all make living so worthwhile!!!!

Family at the party:

“I didn’t know grandpa was a math teacher!”

Son Michael and some of his family (Shane was home sick)

my two sisters, Betsy & Maggie with Mag’s husband, Barry, and son Craig

grandchildren, Caleb & Keira, party ‘bartenders’

Daughter, Susan, and husband, Chris (sister Betsy partially hidden)

our great “CM” friends, Karen & Ken

good friends still together from our Unisys working days, Fritz & Rose,

our beloved pastor, Rev. John Doll came to both anoint and then give a blessing to the meal/event

and what dedicated and loving friends Bob & Sue have been for Pam and I

Look back with me in these photos Pam posted at the big 70 party wall  (click on the photo for a closer/larger view)  . . .

pictures from over the years with family and friends at the party

 

Second Chance Heart support group article

Recently I had the honor of being interviewed as one of several heart transplant leaders of our local 800 member heart transplant support organization based in the Philadelphia (PA/NJ area) for an article featured in the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Heart Health newspaper special section that came out Thursday (2/21/13).  Both the interviewer and the photographer did a great job in what became a full page plus article about the group.  Interestingly the photos in the B&W print version are different than those in color in the on-line version.

Check them both out, first here in this scanned image,

print version of the article (on-line link follows)

and then clicking here –> link to the on-line version article

where its possible to read the full article.  (article by Don Sapatkin, photos by Tom Gralish)

             Yes, as both photos display, life is good!

PS: As my usual good luck would have it, these photos were taken just one day before some extensive nose surgery to remove skin cancer, a real “nose job” that definitely would NOT have worked with that article.

Now, a week later, things are getting back to normal with those two black eyes and a very swollen red nose stemming from the surgery becoming a fading memory and lesson in vanity.  That photo you DO NOT want to see!

 

Tears are about being human – a father’s parting gift

This inspirational video of a high school student’s amazing experience on the basketball court has been viewed thousands of times and even before by me, but still I find myself in tears of joy in viewing it yet again and I hope you will share those tears with me as you watch it too.  Then read the very personal story of my own “gift of tears” that follows below . . .

 

Funny thing:  I grew up (well into my young adult years) very proud of the fact that I never cried.  “Real men don’t cry . . . “ was the philosophy I heard at the time and so I was “a no-tears real man.”

That was until my father’s funeral.

Dad was s beautiful and always friendly, outgoing man to anyone and everyone he encountered.  At a much too young age, 50, he died of cardiomyopathy, the same, but not inherited, heart issue that let to my own heart transplant at about the same age.   Being the oldest of 6 children (one of whom was struck and killed by a car when she was only 4), I was holding my mother’s arm as we led the casket down the aisle of St. Francis RC church, Metuchen, NJ, that day back in 1969.  I had been at my dad’s side earlier in the evening at the hospital the night he died.  I shaved him and fed him Jello, a humbling experience for a son who always knew his dad as being the larger than life strong man he had been, reduced to having me shave him.  That was very emotional.  But in leading that casket back down the aisle, tears came to my eyes and for the first time I didn’t hold them back, rather held my head up and cried as mom and I processed slowly before the coffin.

I don’t ever recall having cried prior to that moment.  Mom had always been a no emotions kind of mother, coming as she did as the oldest with 4 brothers.  In such a family you had to be strong, never showing emotions, or the boys would have run you over.  Even as children in our family, we were taught by mom to be self-sufficient “so if I wasn’t here (died…) you would be able to survive.”  We were able to make our own meals as young teens when she was working as the organist at the church.  There were no hugs as I ever recall, but certainly we were loved and well cared for, just not in an open emotional way.

“My wonderful dad”

With those tears I entered into another phase of my own young family life, one of being truly human, feeling and finally accepting the emotions that make us truly human.  From that point on I had many moments when tears would come, but never embarrassed by them, even in business settings.  Dad had given me that wonderful gift in his parting, a gift that I will forever treasure in my heart, yes, even this gifted heart through transplant.  I have come to realize there is no greater gift than to share tears between trusted friends.  I have verbally shared that belief many times over these years, while offering a shoulder of tearful support for a friend in need of that special empathy and companionship.

So I share this video above and hope that you too found tears in watching a gym full of students and parents/faculty cheering so enthusiastically at this surprise ending for this “special” student, hitting for 20 points thanks to a coach who saw the opportunity to give him that chance, even when he missed the first few shots.

PS: Years later, in 1994 after my transplant when mom, now 75 years still a working nurse (she had met dad while she was a student nurse at St. Peter’s hospital across the street from where he, a Rutgers student, worked as a soda jerk in the fountain there) came and stayed to watch over my recovery, we would walk together for exercise.  I would stop and give her a most uncomfortable (for her) hug, and we finally learned to share that emotional closeness.

It was only a few months later, after she had returned to her own home, that she unexpectedly died as she was leaving a hospital in north Jersey.  And yes, I cried at her funeral too.

A month or so later, immediately after receiving the phoned results of  my latest post transplant tests, I went as was our ritual to call and relay those to mom, my nurse, only to stop and realize that she wasn’t there to answer the call.  My eyes filled as I thought, “mom already knew the results” as she no doubt was still “on duty” from above.

And now I end this posting with wonderful tears in my eyes yet again at those memories, truly human, and isn’t that just wonderful!

I wish you tears in your own human experiences of life, and pray that you too are blessed with a loving shoulder to cry on.  And if you need one, please know I am here for you, and don’t feel bad if I join in with tears of my own in your sharing.

Here’s the young Gleason family – dad, mom, and “the kids” with ”Jimmy Mike”  standing to the left of my dad.  Dad was “James Michael Gleason” and I was “James Michael Gleason, Jr.”  His dad was Michael James Gleason, while my own son now has that same Michael James Gleason name to carry on.

The Gleason Family, Christmas of 1955